"Happy Father's Day Mum"....an alternative message

Father's Day isn't always a time of happy childhood memories and for some, they may be tinged with sadness, anger, betrayal, empty promises and feelings of neglect; linked to more covert forms of emotional abuse that are hard to forget and sometimes, impossible to forgive.

When either parent appears consistently disinterested, fault-finding, bored, has "better things to do", doesn't care, doesn't listen, breaks promises, walks out, abandons or fails in their duty of care in other ways, a child may eventually reach adulthood and decide to sever the relationship completely, or dilute it by distance so it becomes more bearable. This is rarely an easy process and on Father's Day especially, there can be a blanket pressure to recount fond memories and feel thankful.... making it difficult to acknowledge Father's Day for what it's intended to represent when your own has either chosen to be absent from your life, or been unable to show love in a healthy way.

Societal pressure to remember anyone in a glorified manner can be painful and confusing when it's not your own truth - but remembering someone who actively helped you to become the person you are instead, may help to ease those feelings.

Father's Day doesn't have to be about a biological father, or indeed a male figure at all. Instead, it can be an opportunity to appreciate any person who played a fatherly role in your life; male or female - mothers, grand-parents, step-parents, foster parents, older siblings and so on.... honouring someone who did nurture you, believed in you and gave you their time and in doing so, helped to heal the void your own father left.

Happy Father's Day..... whatever it may mean today.